I love you, buddy And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet. File not found. Have you ever…
I’m going to remind
Nov 2, 2016
Why did you bring us here? This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me! I'm just glad my fat, ugly mama isn't alive to see this day. I had more, but you…
Tonight’s the night
Aug 1, 2016
Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. I like seafood. I'm really more an apartment person. I'm generally confused most of the time. I'm Dexter, and I'm not sure what I…
With a warning label
May 18, 2016
Son, as your lawyer, I declare y'all are in a 12-piece bucket o' trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin' up that ol' mess you caused. You're going…
Actually, that’s still true
Apr 15, 2016
Really?! The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep. Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue…
Michelle, I don’t regret
Mar 29, 2016
Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it. All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that's why I'm transferring to business school! This…
Doomsday Devices
Jan 30, 2016
There's one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! Stop it, stop it. It's fine. I will 'destroy' you! Why yes! Thanks for noticing. No, just a…
